


Don't Go Gently Into The Night

by Sai Cannopy Cé (Sai_Cannopy)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, One day I'll write something coherent, Sora's Friends, also KINGDOM HEARTS 3 HYPE PLEASE GIVE US A DAMN RELEASE DATE OKAY, i liked this but it's not that great but hey better this than nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12656922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sai_Cannopy/pseuds/Sai%20Cannopy%20C%C3%A9
Summary: If Sora could fear anything, it would be Xehanort, alright.--A simple fic of Sora hating Xehanort's control over him.





	Don't Go Gently Into The Night

**Author's Note:**

> Idk how to summary lol don't we all
> 
> Anyways, this is based on when i was looking at chachacharlieco's artwork for Soranort, check 'em out on tumblr. This is a basic story, but I would love to read more of how Xehanort affected Sora deeply.

Sora doesn’t remember the first time that he loses his sense of self, but it rocks him to his core.

 

He remembers what happened beforehand, though. He and his friends - the usual group, him, Donald, and Goofy - simply trying to plan ahead instead of just heading in with no plan. Donald was quacking and yelling at the two with different ideas and different plans, he can’t remember that part clearly. Goofy was simply nodding along, but also pipping up with his own opinions and thoughts on how it could be dangerous in one area or how Xehanort could possible be there. Sora - he tries, tries to keep up.

 

But he blinks one minute, and the next blink makes him register that Donald and Goofy are looking at him. Watching him. They’re not speaking, but their eyes speak worry. Of course they joke around and say it was Sora just not sleeping enough or having goofed off the previous night that caused him to sleep (“Hey!” he shouts playfully, hiding that wonder of what happened.) A few laughs here and there, and they’re back to normal.

 

But Donald keeps looking back at him like he’ll do something. And that scares him.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time it happens is when he’s finally found Vanitas, who’s struggling to fight, over at Castle Oblivion (which is almost like deja vu, he’s been here before…).

 

The two are clashing, keyblade to keyblade, light to darkness. Sora knows he’ll win, he has confidence. He’ll bring back Ventus and defeat Vanitas. He’ll find Aqua too, if he can.

 

Vanitas is screaming as he fights back, desperate to win something. Both of them know he wants to live - and the heart within Sora screams for that part to return to him. Something must have triggered something within Sora (was is that he still had a part of Xehanort? or was it that he was still deep within Xehanort’s plans?), because he recognizes that terror in the other’s face as

 

Vanitas makes his keyblade disappear.

 

Vanitas is running. He’s yelping in terror. He hears “Please, no!” and “There’s no way! There’s no fucking way!” and something along the lines of “He couldn’t have!”

 

He can’t feel his body’s movement. He’s on autopilot. He’s sure it’s anger, something that belongs to Ventus.

 

But hearing the heart within _screech_ in terror of whatever’s in charge of him makes Sora smash his keyblade inches away from the other boy’s head. Both of them are panting, and both are looking at each other like they fucked up. Vanitas is close to tears, and Sora is close to having a panic attack.

 

Sora backs away first, not sure of himself. He can’t trust himself, he find himself thinking and repeating like a mantra. Vanitas is still on the floor, unable to move out of pure fear - anyone could see based on his eyes, how they flicker everywhere and always back to Sora.

 

They don’t move until what feels like hours later, and at that point Vanitas just points to the door that holds Ventus’s body and quietly, angrily whispers, “Go.”

 

* * *

 

 

The third time it happens is when Terra’s now finally gotten used to them.

 

And it’s an ugly encounter.

 

( _he wishes he could rid them all of their pain, of xehanort and just forget that_ ** _look_** )

 

They’re just having fun this day of break. The King had decided that perhaps they were pushing too hard and in the wrong directions - to which Terra starts to shout out, “No fucking way, you think?” before Aqua punches him hard in the stomach, a worthy feat for someone who just got his body and the other finally getting proper nourishment after almost 10 years - and Master Yen Sid deciding that they were to stay at the Mysterious Tower for break.

 

For some, it’s a perfect break. Aqua is catching up with Kairi on what was missed. Terra and Riku talk a little more, learning a little more about each other, though they’re deep in thought about how Terra would have to teach Riku seeing as Riku has learned so much while his predecessor was stuck in his armor. Mickey and Yen Sid are still in the Room, and they’re still talking about plans. Goofy’s enjoying his sleep as, behind him, Namine and Xion talk of embarrassing memories their respective somebodies had in the past or just recently.

 

For others, it’s just restlessness that’s stopping them from enjoying the brief peace. Roxas, Ventus, and Axel - “For fuck’s sake, it’s Lea!” the poor man shouts for what’s probably the eightieth time, to which they all nod and ignore - are play-fighting each other. Vanitas is close to throwing the chessboard at Donald (who was totally not smirking over his slow victory).

 

But Sora’s just lost in thought, wanting to defy Yen Sid’s words and go to the Dreamworld to catch up with his Dream friends, but also wanting to run around with the other boys just to get back to fun. He’s wondering what he can do to make the most of his time, but his friends are busy. He can’t leave to find out what’s going on; he’s even been banned from the Dreamworld unless someone (more specifically, Riku) goes along with him. Hell, he can’t even eavesdrop on the King and older Master unless he wants an earful (no he did not want that thank you very much).

 

But something grabs at him. He feels this at his core, his heart, and he knows his nobodies feel that twitch. But they’re not noticing (he’s fine he’s fine he’s fine no no it was nothing), so _it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay._ The voice calls to him, saying _You’re fine if you’re gone, they won’t notice._

 

**Come to him.**

 

Once again his body’s on autopilot - and he’s fighting back, he’s struggling, he wants control back **_now_**. He can feel the man’s darkness, feel it ooze within him, clutch at his heart. If he wasn’t torn away from having control over his body, he most likely would’ve omitted.

 

Sora’s - no, Xehanort - no, Sora _fuck, who’s in control_ \- walking to the group, the silent ones. He knows he has their attention, some of them, but he more specifically has Riku’s. He hears Riku ask, “What’s wrong?”

 

But then those nice, calm eyes turn to an angry storm as he drags his keyblade out noisily ( **Who knew one could do t** — _shut up shut up shut up_ ). The rest are alarmed - it’s always their key to knowing if there’s something wrong - and, for those who can, weapons are drawn out. Terra, for the most part, is only surprised.

 

But those eyes quickly turn to anger as he sees the gold eyes of Xehanort stare back at him. “How in the hell did you get him?!” He yells, keyblade pointed at him. Silence ( _don’t speak don’t touch don’t hurt_ **_do_ n’t stop me fool **_stop PLEASE_ ) speaks words, but it’s not enough. He thinks he smiles, because next thing he knows the world’s turning, and Terra’s shouting, “HOW LONG, BASTARD?! ARE YOU WITH HIM!? WHO ARE YOU?!”

 

It’s understandable that Terra’s freaking out. They never told anyone much on the incident.

 

Which is why there’s a panic amongst the Light wielders. Aqua and Ventus are desperately trying to drag him away from Sora (“You don’t know what he could do —“ “WHAT ABOUT WHAT HE COULD DO TO US, HUH?! HUH, BACKSTABBER?! TRAITOR?!”). Kairi’s struggling to decide on going to Sora or staying behind Riku, and Riku’s trying to push Kairi back, hoping to find some sense of control before he has to possibly fight his friend. Axel is trying to comfort Xion as Roxas goes running to get the King (if the noise didn’t get to him). Goofy and Donald are the only two on standby mode.

 

Vanitas is long gone. (Kairi finds him over at the Keyblade Graveyard, trembling and dry crying.)

 

By the time Yen Sid and King Mickey have arrived at the scene, Terra has been knocked out and the Wielders are circling around a scrunched up Sora, who’s sobbing as he cries out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know _we should’ve told him_.”

 

* * *

 

 

The fourth time it happens, Sora is almost sobbing because _damn his luck_ it’s got to be the worst possible situation to occur to him in his life. ( _it’s not the last time he’ll do this_ he screams to himself.)

 

They all know by now the Incident. He hates how he was babied by Aqua. He loathes how Terra ignored him for almost two months before the others had to interfere. He only receives a blunt, “Now you know how I feel” from Vanitas, who’s staring at him with fear and anger.

 

Yen Sid has long apologized to those who didn’t know. Apology is accepted, but the mark has been set.

 

And now Sora knows they are losing some trust over him. And he’s terrified. Because he’s known Riku and Kairi for almost all of his life. He’s held Roxas and Xion for almost two years. Ventus was there as a form of protection for his heart. Donald and Goofy have been with him for almost 3, 4 years now.

 

He’s not sure what will happen to him if he loses them forever.

 

Of course, he’s thinking this as they’re preparing to infiltrate The World That Never Was. Because of _course_ he has to stress about this _now_ , as there won’t be time later. He just hopes it won’t be noticeable.

 

But, _wow_ , life must really be out for him, because Younger Xehanort - they’ve gotten to calling him Younger simply to keep confusion away from that and his older self - tells him specifically as they’re fighting, “Sora, are you sure you’ve made the right choice?”

 

He’s dodging now, avoiding the attacks that are being sent his way. But he can tell they’re not aimed to kill, but rather to incapacitate him. He hates how he’s still being targeted, but he knows that he’s not the only one.

 

He just wished that he had the others’ reaction skills when he has to feel the time traveler grasp onto his arm.

 

It’s pure **pain _._** He’s struggling to release himself, trying not to fall asleep ( _NO HEARTS ABOVE NO LET GO_ ) as he feels his body be used as a shield between the fighters. He knows that he should’ve seen something like this, knows that Xehanort is beyond playing fair, but _damn_ he wishes he was better!

 

“Why not **submit to the darkness?** ” He hears the other say softly before he feels something **_squish within him_**. It’s disgusting. It’s hideous. He doesn’t know what it is. He’s crying, he knows it.

 

Because he knows Xehanort is just one step closer to taking him.

 

He’s hearing screams as he feels like his body is being torn in two, trying to find his light as the darkness attempts to hide it. Sora’s desperately clawing at the ground, hoping that maybe if he can cause enough pain for it to leave.

 

And then it stops.

 

Everything has stopped, and he’s still panicking. ( _he can’t breathe_ **breathe my vessel** _no GET OUT_ ) The three are still stricken with fear, and he hopes to Kingdom Hearts below that it’s not what he thinks.

 

(Later on, they tell the group that Sora was used as a puppet to fight them. That while Sora was out, the younger Xehanort used his body to fight, not caring if it would be injured or not (which explains the numerous bones broken).)

 

“It is **exactly** what you think, child.” And there’s the asshole who’s taken him, who’s got his light in his grasp. “You no longer have control over yourself.

 

“Not unless you take this back.”

 

Sora screams, and shouts, “That’s mine! Not yours to play with!” In a quick one-two his keyblade goes through a replica - “Damnit!” “Try again, Sora.” “Shut up! You have no right to say that!” - and he goes at it again.

 

And again. And again. And again. And again.

 

It’s driving him insane, with how many times he’s blocked, dashed, smashed, and destroyed the other’s attacks and replicas. He knows he’s not making any progress ( **are you sure?** _fuck OFF!_ ), but he knows he’s slowly getting exhausted.

 

“Are you tired? You should sleep.”

 

At this, Sora jolts from his position and runs. Runs like his life depends on it.

 

It’s not like he could get far, of course. Of course, of course, because _that sticky hand is_ ** _still there damn it damn it damn it_**. He’s so close to winning ( ** _no I wasn’t_** ), he’s so close to —

 

“Sora!” Vanitas’s voice screams into his ears.

 

He’s on the floor of the Mysterious Tower. He can’t feel Young Xehanort’s hand on his light. He’s gone.

 

Sora starts screaming, sobbing, and banging against his friend’s chest (he doesn’t know who, but it _has_ to be a friend he’ll split if this is a dream), the pain just over the top. He’s never been this frightened, never thought that Xehanort could ever use him like that, never had an inkling of how _terrifying_ Xehanort is.

 

He just hears a soft snort - definitely Vanitas - as the other just starts to hug him - 100% him, he and Ventus are the only ones who can even touch the guy - and whisper, “It’s alright, we’ll protect you. He won’t get you.”

 

He just can’t help but feel that Vanitas is wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

The last time he is ever able to feel Xehanort even _close_ to him is when Xehanort’s dying.

 

They’ve finally taken him down, all of the thirteen vessels he somehow collected. It was a bitch to even find some of them, let alone Xemnas, Younger Xehanort, and Briag, but the satisfaction of ending them was amazing.

 

At least, Sora says that. He hasn’t forgiven any of them for what they’ve done to them. He never will.

 

( _but what about Saïx_ the small voice cries _he didn’t deserve this, he was a casualty_ )

 

Fighting the final vessel - would you consider Xehanort that? - is the biggest mistake they thought they could ever make. Despite how many vessels they’ve defeated, this old man won’t stay down. In fact, he has several of the abilities they saw his old vessels have.

 

Which makes it a pain in the ass for Sora when he feels himself being torn and taken by Xehanort.

 

Of course this is a significantly weaker attempt, but it still throws Sora off guard because he thought it would be Terra, not him.

 

But, surprise surprise, Terra is the one who just obliterates Xehanort’s attempt to get him. Quite anti-climatic, if you ask him. As he grasps for his friends ( **end them! i shall end you all!** ), Terra just _rips_ him from whatever’s keeping him next to Xehanort, and the elder wielder proceeds to attack Xehanort with all he’s got. ‘Course Riku’s with him alongside their friends, as they were his friends and _how dare he touch Sora again_.

 

All Sora can do is say, “Thanks.” before he tumbles to the ground. What a spectacle.

 

* * *

 

 

His dreams are colorful, but they hold something within them that scares him. He’s not sure what it is, but he feels it slowly leave him.

 

* * *

 

 

When he wakes up, everyone’s screaming and yelling and holding him and apologizing and _wow_ he never thought that there would be a time that he, Sora, would be overwhelmed by such love. Yen Sid tries to drive them away, but it’s thanks to Aqua that he’s saved from almost sobbing out of the love he holds for them.

 

Once most of the younger ones, the nobodies, and Kairi have left the room, the Keyblade Masters waste no time getting to the point. He’s fine and safe from Xehanort, especially since he’s been absolutely demolished in every fashion, in which Sora just shrugs; he has his work cut out for him. He’s still very vulnerable to darkness, but should he keep that bravery he’s had since the beginning of his adventure, he’s good to go. Kingdom Hearts is gone, and the worlds are once again united, though still weak to darkness. That part he’s not bothered by.

 

The weirdest part is—

 

“My eyes are still gold?” Sora whispers, feeling a little bit fearful of that fact. So much for sleep. (Then again, none of them had ever gotten proper sleep.)

 

Aqua chuckles softly, and Terra and Riku glare at her. She falls into more giggles as they continue to glare before she calms herself. “I’m so sorry, Sora.” She’s sorry, he knows, but that smile she wears shows she’s not pitying him, but she genuine cares for him. “But the fact that you put more worry into that over the prospect of having golden eyes forever seems very you, if you catch my drift.”

 

Ah. She’s right.

 

Yen Sid talks once more. “Do not fret, Sora. It is not permanent, but should you dabble in the arts of darkness, you’ll forever have them.” He knows what he means, but he’s not keen on going back to using his anti-form.

 

( _the darkness is still sticky_ he tells himself.)

 

He nods, then asks, “Is there any chance that you guys have food? I’m starving.” At that, the other wielders laugh, knowing how he diverts his attention so easily to the other parts of himself before he even thinks of the world.

 

They only wish they could comfort him like how Kairi, Riku, Ventus and Vanitas can.

 

* * *

 

 

Sora wakes up again, and he’s off to the toilet to vomit.

 

He’s finally home, but it’s not right. He’s still anxious, waiting for that time where the world needs him, where his mom isn’t worrying about how he’s screaming still in his sleep or how the three of them stick together no matter what. He’s wondering if the King remembers him, or if the people even care to call them for help. He panics at the idea of the dark being there, reminding him of what his fears are related to. He questions how his mother has not once asked either of the three why they’ve changed so much.

 

He fears that last part immensely.

 

The phone he has in his pocket rings, and he knows it’s Kairi before he picks up. “Yes, mom?”

 

“Damn, am I really your mom now?” A sigh is let out on the other side, but it stops quickly as the girl goes back to the reason why she called. “You want something? Food? A fight? Magic? Beating Riku up?”

 

He laughs as he hears the last part. He knows why she asks him like that. He knows that he’s too stubborn to really see if there’s help concerning his expansive disasters (“Do you really need to call PTSD a disaster.” Axel stares at the boy as he makes his question a statement, which is a rather odd choice to Sora.), but who could he really talk to concerning _those_ problems? Past interrogations have led to arguments that led to silence for almost a week before Sora relented and went back to talking to his friends. “No, no,” he whispers back cheerfully - he has to, they depend on him still to be cheery - as he wipes the vomit off his mouth. Ew.

 

“Do you want to hear a story?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll take one.”

 

Hearing her voice talking about life before they met is amazing. It brings back that love he had for the first journey he ever had. Her voice reminds him of that calming sea that brought their hearts together, and it brings memories they shared while connected.

 

He only wishes it could last for longer.

 

“Hey Kairi?”

 

“Yeah, Sora?”

 

“…. thanks.”

 

It’s so soft, she barely is able to catch it. “You’re welcome.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't want to talk to me on discord (Purest Neku Toshi#1141) for possible ideas, then message me on my tumblr, art-sexua1. I really don't understand how I'm even working on this.
> 
> Also, a news update for a certain fic! While I have "cancelled" Flowey's World a few months back, it will be updated! One day. A year later. In the future. But I'll get there, don't worry! I've just got like 20+ fic ideas on my back. (*sobs*)
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this ficlet, and maybe I might see you somewhere on the servers!


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